DARK

Man is a strange creature.

All his actions are motivated by desire, his character forged by pain.

As much as he may try to suppress that pain, to repress the desire, he cannot free himself from the eternal servitude to his feelings.

For as long as the storm rages within him, he cannot find peace.

Not in life, not in death.

And so he will do what he must, day in, day out.

The pain is his vessel, desire his compass.

It is all that man is capable of.

Hoy no amor.

En días como este me molesta viajar por trabajo, particularmente cuando estamos mal, el estar lejos de ti, el extrañar tu olor, sentir tu piel canela, esa tersa sensación de mi ávido tacto en tu perlada orografía, tu humedad, saciar mi sed con el perfecto sabor de tu sudor, y no poder hacer nada, mi cuerpo no es el mismo sin ti, lástima que no te compartas conmigo, a plenitud, que no te entregues, renunciándote incondicionalmente.

Pero si de extrañar vamos, extraño el que me mires con esos ojos inundados de pasión, el que me toquen tus manos deseosas, como antes lo hacían, antes, todo me lleva a un tiempo anterior, cuando éramos otros, antes de ser yo, del presente, ya no me miras, no me tocas, como si fuera un forastero de tu soledad; si bien el crecer y madurar es un asunto natural, donde quedaron esos amantes de antes, esos idiotas que no creían en futuros, solo contaban amaneceres de uno en uno, bajo las sabanas, bajo el cielo azul, sin repercusiones en la eternidad; levedades.

Si bien, y aunque estés junto a mí, te siento ausente, distante, incluso de ti, el ajetreo del día a día nos extravía por caminos distintos, vamos inconscientemente alejándonos, buscándonos inapetentes a ratos, embriagados de alcohol y hastío, sin encontrarnos verdaderamente, líneas secantes, que alguna vez colisionaron en un big bang de deseo para jamás volver a tocarse, orbitándose pero no como antes, no con ese deseo ferviente, con ese afán insaciable del uno por el otro, con ese constante cosquilleo, esa inquietud de saber del otro, de hundirse hasta perderse en la otra persona.

¿Que nos pasó?, en qué momento nos perdimos, cuando deje de añorar tu desnudez, cuando dejaste de sentir ese deseo por mí, cuando te convertiste en una representación distante y mal trazada de ti, ¿Qué es lo que quieres de mí?, ¿Por qué me rechazas?, ¿Por qué te niegas al placer de sentir?, como nos podemos amar si nos destruimos cotidianamente y sin escrúpulos. Y como volver atrás de tanto abismo sin fin, será que salte y sucumbí, imprudente como soy, ciegamente a mi deseo e inconscientemente me aleje de ti, o me arrancaste de tajo, sin titubear de tu ser, tan indiferente que ni te percataste.

Si alguna vez soñé con ser un traidor de tu calor, si alguna vez pensé que podría cruzar esa línea, que pensamiento me llevo ahí, creí que sería enteramente por culpa tuya, pero ¿realmente es culpa del otro?, quizás es accidental tropezar alguna vez, quien sabe, tal vez un tanto intencional, pero más ocasiones, aquello deja lo fortuito de lado, y lo convirtió en un escaparate del cuerpo, una salida de adrenalina, una sobredosis de dopamina, convirtiendo tus “hoy no amor”, en autoengaños, tu pensando en que tenemos toda la vida por delante, buscando repercusiones en lo eterno, y yo creyendo que obligadamente e irremediablemente mañana no estaré aquí.

HIMYME (How I met your mother Erandi)

There was this girl that works for Accenture and wanted to create a hiking club with her friends whom also enjoyed going to places like Estanzuela, Chipinque, Cola de Caballo and such, this girl and her friend decided to start an initiative here because she liked this places so much and she wanted to share this form of exercising and relaxing by going to this places while breathing clean air and stretching the legs a little away from our desks, and she stared the process of creating this initiative through the Employee Council.

On the other hand there is this crazy guy who love to feel the rush of adrenaline, who enjoyed going to camping, rappelling, kayaking, zip lining and all those adrenaline-like boosters, he wanted to share his passion for adventure with everyone he comes across to, and since he was in the Performance Testing Team here at Accenture he approached to his manager Jorge, who is also one of the Employee Council members to start his initiative too, he told this guy that he should talk to this girl named Erandi from the 4th floor, she was starting an initiative just like the one he wanted to.

This guy contacted her over MOC, but she was always either busy and never responding his pings, he had a hard time reaching her, she had no time to reply back, and after some days, they were able to talk over MOC and concluded they should meet up with their team members to discuss about joining forces to start this initiative together. A couple of days before this meeting took place this crazy guy was super curious about this girl’s name, and look up in internet for her meaning, a thing to mention here is that this guy is super bad at remembering names and dates and all that stuff that could keep a conversation going , that which makes a human sociable and allows him to befriend people, so he knew that her name meant Dawn in Purepecha, and he look her up in Facebook and add her as a friend, that request took a couple of weeks to be accepted, I heard she ignored him for a while on purpose; some  days later he told her that it made it easy for him to remember her by the meaning of her name, and he told her its meaning, she was happy, since not many people do that kind of stuff like that. He did not want to admit it, but he liked that girl way too much.

This guy and Erandi were like water and oil, they did not mix up very well most of the times, she is an existentialist and very smart and strong girl, and this guy is just kind of crazy, a mix of a hermit and a sociopath but a good guy after all; but when they happened to mix up,  magic tend to occur both in  and out of work; despite of the many challenges they faced while creating the XPLORE Club, because of the risks that such extreme activities imply, they prevail, they cover all the aspects the Employee Council requested, all the approvals from all levels were given to them, and they were set to go for tons of adventures, like going to Presa de la Boca to do kayaking, which was a great adventure for her since last experience she had was not pleasant; there is this other time when they went to La Huasteca to do Via Ferrata, an adventure involving hiking for more than an hour to the mountain base from there they climbed up on the white rocky walls until they reached the top, there they did a zip line of 200mts at a 1000mts height, after that they did 3 rappelling descents of around 60mts each to end up in another, the last one, hike of 1hr to where they parked the cars waiting for the rest of the group. At first he thought she was not going to make it at Via Ferrata, but she managed to prove him what was she made of, this girl is tough, if you happened to tell her she can’t do something, you will eventually have to swallow your own words, she is capable of things she is not aware of until she tries, then and only then you will know her limits, but she continue to try her best to go up and beyond.

After some months of unofficially dating this guy went for it, he said he was not jealous but he could not see her going out like that, because she is super sociable, she loves to be with her friends and have a great time with them, so he ask her out and things got real, they started to go out a lot, they went to San Luis to visit a friend there, but not after spending a great vacation on Real de Catorce, where they rode a couple of horses searching for Peyote, which they did not find, having a great time going many times to Leon Guanajuato visiting more friends and being by themselves on many journeys they set for; month after month feelings grew deep and strong inside them and even when the fights were hard they stood up holding hands.

After almost a year of knowing her on a Valentine’s Day, he decided to give her a present she would never forget, he thought, even if it’s a cliché, of a plan where he took her to a romantic evening in an Italian restaurant and ask her to marry him; a couple of days back, yes because he always do that kind of stuff, as all Mexicans do, at the very last second he searched jewelries all over Monterrey, despite of the ugly weather, for the perfect ring, it was delivered to him the very same day he wanted to propose to her, the ring was perfect and also was the environment, they had already ordered, and they were chatting about nonsense, they both were nervous and happy, everything was ready so he took the ring out and put it in front of her, he was decided to ask her to marry him right there but then the waiter arrived to the table with all the food, and there he stood between them, he knew he arrived at a wrong time but he did not know what to do, so he did not move for a while, he hold still even more shocked than the bride to be, after he reacted he placed the food over the table and left without saying a word, he was then able to propose, she started crying and said yes to him, both kissed and hold each other in a big hug and both started saving ten months for the wedding. The wedding took place in Leon Guanajuato, in place with a beautiful garden, it was meant to be intimate and small with few people, but suddenly after many challenges faced, like the streets were blocked by policemen due to some XMAS parades, two power outages, etc., they both finally had their families and friends reunited on that wedding where they danced, laughed and had the best time of their lives.

That guy was me, Joaquin Rosas, and those adrenaline-like boosters never prepared me for what was to come because one day I knew this girl and the next day (a couple of years later to be precise), I’m married to her, and now I’m going to be the proud father of a baby girl that is to be born in late March, so life turned around so greatly and quickly for me, but that is what I fought for, what I wanted and I’m pretty happy about it too.

Via Ferrata 2012

Alquimia

Quien pudiera verla con mis ojos, tan callada y bella, quien creería que su imagen tímida esconde ese salvaje interior.

-Todo eso suena a contradicción.

Claro que no, es ella, mírala, vívela, siéntela, escúchala, es ella, tan serena y capaz; tenaz para lograr lo que se propone y más; percibe su espíritu libre y salvaje.

-De que diantres alucinas, oh mortal hombre, dime porque desvarías.

De su implacable voz, cual espada me mata al hablar, que por su fuerte corazón me invita a buscarla y por su inmensa pasión me provoca tocarla.

-Claro que debes estar exagerando, tremendo ser no existe, ella es solo una alucinación de tu imaginación.

Pero que aún no te cuento de su sonrisa de mona lisa, si la vieras en ese traje de venus, o de su melena tan ella, tan salvaje y bella, acaso no te he contado de esa piel canela que irradia luz, y cual lucero que contagia los ojos y los llena de su néctar de vida.

- ¿Me estaré volviendo loco hablando conmigo mismo? ¿Acaso existes en realidad?

Cállate, que tú no importas aquí, es ella, pero…cuídate de ella, que no todo es ternura, es ella más valiente que mil hombres, recuerda que para ella no existen las medias tintas, lo es todo o no es nada, ella esta armada con 2 piernas fuertes para avanzar y dejarte si no sabes comportarte. Pero también tiene un par de manos suaves para acogerte en su seno y saciarte el alma, cuídate de ella, ella lo quiere todo, felicidad y paz, presente y futuro.

-Pero a dónde vas con tanto alboroto, cual es el resultado de semejante alquimia.

Evidentemente, el resultado tenías que ser tú, un milagro.

Los 12K en Chipinque

...despues de 11.8 km en 03:16:41, la recompensa es haberlo logrado!

Estanzuela 1.0